+15°C This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we’ll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norwegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.
+10°C The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Norwegians plant flowers in their gardens.
+5°C Italian cars won’t start. The Norwegians are cruising in cabriolets.
0°C Distilled water freezes. The water in Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker.
-5°C People in California almost freeze to death. The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter.
-10°C The Brits start heating their houses. The Norwegians start using long sleeves.
-15°C The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Norwegians end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.
-20°C People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors.
-30°C Paris start cracking from the cold. The Norwegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.
-50°C Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Norwegian army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.
-60°C Santa moves south. The Norwegian army goes out on winter survival training.
-183°C Microbes in food don’t survive. The Norwegian cows complain that the farmers’ hands are cold.
-273°C All atom and subatomic particles movement halts. The Norwegians start saying “Faen, its cold outside today.”
-300°C Hell freezes over, Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest